Shattered Dreams & Broken Hearts
by Simplicit1
Summary: Quistis is met with Seifer and finds herself falling for him. At the same time, when times get rough Irvine is there to comfort her.
1. It's Only the Beginning

Shattered Dreams & Broken Hearts  
  
  
Quistis' Diary Entry 1  
  
I don't know if you call this love or what, but lately I just sit here, looking out into the clear blue skies, trying to change the sense of my mood. What I needed was rain.....rain. The word echoes constantly in this head of mines. That's how I feel, like the rain is drowning me, away, far away.......from everyone, from my heart. Maybe it was because of the way Seifer makes me feel when I'm around him....helpless. Just like a bird without it's mother. Maybe that's the word that describes me most...helpless. Just the thought of it, makes me shudder, just wanting to get away.   
But this is reality, not a dream. I don't want to fall in love, I don't want my heart to be broken. No one could ever fall in love with me, is it that hard? Why am I to be treated like a glass? To be broken over and over again? There's no answer to that, that I could find more soothing than what I already know. Because it's my life. My life alone, and I'll have to live it as is.  
  
  
Irvine arose his head from the pillow, as he heard the alarm go off on his clock. He reached over and pushed it off the tiny table that held it up. Sitting up, he leaned against the back headboard. That previous night was wonderful, such a perfect night. Irvine grinned happily to himself. Everything seemed to go good all week.  
"Irvine??" a slender girl with long black hair uttered, sleeping beside him, "Morning already?"  
He smiled down at her, "That's right, time to wake up, Sleepy Head." He got up, pulling off the white sheets, forgeting that it was the only cover she had for her tiny body.  
"IRVINE!" the girl named Ayame screamed, pulling back at the sheets. He grinned, mischieviously, then plopped back down beside her, pulling on his clothes. She smiled, happily at him, studying his handsome features, that often changed. Irvine had a pleased smile on his face, as he began pulling on his boots. Ayame slowly ran her finger on his lips, tracing every curve.  
He pulled away genlty, "Listen, I need to go shower." Ayame sat up, holding onto the sheets.  
"Why don't you shower here?" she questioned, a look of sadness in her blue eyes, that Irvine adored so much. Such gorgeous blue eyes, that often made him feel so relaxed.   
"No, some other time maybe," he replied, standing up, "Maybe tonight." Ayame smiled, and pulled him down, kissing him softly on the cheek. Irvine got up slowly and made his way to the door without turning back.  
  
  
"ZELL! SEE NOW I'M MAD AT YOU!" Selphie yelled at the top of her lungs, grabbing at the bucket of paint.  
"You act like I give a damn, I never wanted to help you anyway!!" He yelled back, pulling the bucket away from her.  
Selphie tugged at the bucket, glaring at him, "THEN GIVE THAT BACK!" Zell released it willingly and watched as the bucket of yellow paint spilled all over her. Selphie laid still on the floor and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.  
"Look, you finally match," Zell said, gleefully, with a cheesy grin. She immediately pulled herself up and began violently chasing him around, tossing everything that came into her grasp. Irvine walked into the corridor, not realizing anything had happend. But stopped when he saw that Zell was now running behind him.  
Selphie stopped, impulsly, "OH, Hi, Irvine!"   
"What were you guys doing?" he asked, walking over to the bench nearing the exit. Selphie glared at Zell.  
"Nothing, So what's with you and what's her name," Selphie began, sitting down beside him.  
"Oh, Ayame, uh.....nothin', I wouldn't call it a serious relationship," he uttered, studying the seams on his glove.  
"Yo, Irvine," Zell began, standing in front of him, "You really need to start taking things more seriously, girls, I mean."  
Selphie chuckled, "And this is coming from a guy who's never even came close to getting into a relationship, ever."  
"AY! I was just about to ask the girl from the library to the movies," he yelled, nearly causing a scene.  
"Yea, after 8 months or so," she muttered, with a pleased smile. Selphie just knew exactly how to make the guy angry. After all, she's been doing that for the past weeks. Months even.  
"You, know what, YOU," he pointed a finger to Selphie, making Irvine look up, "Are pissing me off. Fuck this bull shit, Ima fucken leave!" He quickly paced out of the corridor and out the door, bumping into Quistis without apologizing. Selphie stood up and cheerfully skipped over to her, Irvine walking closely behind.  
"HIYEE, QUISTIS!" she exclaimed. Quistis returned the warmness, she glanced over to Irvine, who had his face down, looking at the marble floor. She glanced away, remembering what had happend only a few days ago. She had walked in on him with some girl that she knew, nad for some reason, felt guilty.  
"What are you doing here?" Selphie interuppted, making Quistis look up.  
"OH........I was just...looking for someone, but I guess he's not here," she responded, "Well, I guess....I'm just going to go, then." Quistis was about two feet away from the exit, when.......  
"I heard Seifer was coming back to Garden," Selphie called out, making her stop. Quistis ran into him constantly at the train station. But she didn't bother to reply to Selphie's comment. Instead, she continued out the door.  
"Did you notice that?" Selphie asked, still looking in one direction.  
"Notice what?" Irvine questioned.  
"She was looking for Seifer....I wonder what for...."  
  
  
Quistis' Diary Entry 2  
  
Why do I feel this way?? Why can't I figure out why I feel this way? Because of what? Is this real or just a dream that I constantly have? I don't understand........I have never felt this way........I'm so lost and confused. My friends are always here for me, but what? What do I need? Love? Maybe that's what it is, Love. But in reality to what I already have.....is it possible?  
  
  
Quistis closed her diary and setted it on the table near the tall lamp. She leaned her head back against the tall backboard, with thoughts, continuos thoughts streaming through her mind. She slowly stood up and walked over to the window, staring out into the open sky. Clouds drifted from side to side. Who knows how long I've been cooped up in here, Quistis thought. Then glancing at the clock on her mantel. 4:30. She then decided to go out for a walk.  
  
  
"I understand how you must feel, Seifer," Matron began, "I know you didn't plan on coming back. But you must understand, that no matter what, you're like a son to me. And nothing is going to change that." Seifer looked down at the carpeted floor, avoiding eye-contact. It had been over a half an hour that he had step foot onto Balamb Garden. After all that has happend, who would have thought he would have even plan on coming back. These past months had been hard enough. But his friends, Fujinn and Raijinn had always been there in hardships.  
"Seifer," Matron uttered, signalling him to look up as she handed him the three dorm keys. Fujinn and Raijinn stood still, watching without even saying a word. Seifer stood up, with a smile, looking down at the tiny woman who still looked the same after all these years.  
"Thanks, Matron," was all he said, as the three of them exited the room.  
"She's real nice, ain't she, ya know," Raijinn uttered, looking around the familiar corridor. Fujinn elbowed him hard.  
"TALK, TOO, MUCH," she protested, looking up at Seifer.   
"Zell, quit it," Quistis said, with a playful smile, as she pushed the young man slightly. Zell smiled and continued to keep up to her pace. But stopped when he noticed Seifer.   
"Long time, no see, Chicken-Wuss," Seifer stated, walking towards the two.  
"What the hell are you doin' here?!?" Zell demanded, clenching his fists. Quistis placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Seifer smiled, looking Quistis over. She shivered as she felt his cold blue eyes staring at her, intently.  
"Good to see you again, Quistis," he said, almost in a whisper.  
She smiled, "Same here."  
  
  
"So, Irvine," Rinoa began, her hands resting beneath her chin, "What's going on with you and Ayame?" Irvine smiled, leaning back against his chair.  
"I can't really say," was his reply. Rinoa sat up, and made an expression, that he just couldn't figure out.  
"Do you like her alot or not?" she questioned, with curiosity. He shook his head, slightly.  
"Oh, god, you're always like that, what you should do, is find a nice girl you can settle down with," she replied, with a sweet smile.  
"Now you're really starting to sound like Matron," Irvine retorted, as he noticed Ayame walking in their direction.   
"Hi, Sweety," the girl exclaimed, as she tightly wrapped her arms around his neck. Rinoa smiled, but forced herself to look away.  
"And.....you are, Rinoa, right?" Ayame asked, with a friendly smile.   
"Yea, umm, you know what. I'm not going to bother you two, so I'll just go somewhere," she replied, standing up, and slowly walking away. Ayame pulled up a chair and sat facing him.  
"I missed you, where were you today?" she questioned, with the face that Irvine constantly fell for. Which made him do practically anything for her. Except, for the fact that he was lucky to always have the upper-hand.  
Irvine gave her a smile, "Talking to Selphie."   
She leaned over, about two inches away from him, "How about you and me....head up to my dorm right now?" Irvine could feel himself forget practically everything that very moment. Ayame knew just exactly how to torture him, with her sexy voice and everything else that she would do or say. He gave her a devilish smile and slowly stood up. But everything stopped when he noticed Selphie walking into his direction.  
"Irvine!" she yelled out, almost frightening him. He had to admit, he hated whenever Selphie was mad. Everything would just always go into the wrong direction. And he knew he wouldn't be in Ayame's dorm anytime soon.  
"What is it?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. Selphie glanced at Ayame then to Irvine.  
"We need to talk," she uttered, in total disgust of the girl that stood beside her friend.  
Irvine looked down, then back up to Selphie, "All right." He turned to Ayame, "Maybe later?"  
Before Irvine could turn and walk away, she pulled him down and kissed him hard, hungrily. It seemed to last forever, but stopped, after he felt himself being pulled away by Selphie. It was kinda obvious, as much as she hated who ever he dated. It was all just a fake routine to get him away, from whom ever that girl was.  
  
  
"Seifer, I seriously do believe that you should take some time and listen to me," Xu uttered, partly annoyed. She had tried all afternoon to get him to listen to her.   
"What have you got to say, that I would want to listen to?" he asked, his foot on the table in front of them. He took a deep breath, then turned in the other direction, noticing Quistis walking alone. Fujinn glanced at the young woman, that Seifer has kept an eye for. She knew, she knew everything that he felt and wanted. And Quistis Trepe was one of them. It didn't take long for her to notice, although, he didn't mention much. But it was just too obvious. The way he constantly looked at her, as though he were dazed. The way his eyes watched her every movement. That's what Fujinn wanted. And what she longed for, for Seifer to notice her, for the one person that she knew she was falling in love with, to feel the same way towards her.  
"Seifer, ya know, lets go," Raijinn uttered, glancing at Fujinn.   
Seifer stood up, starightening his jacket, "Why not." They walked in the tendency of Quistis. She gazed up as the three passed her bye. Seifer smiled down at her, but continued to walk forward, without stopping.  
  
  
Quistis' Diary Entry 3  
  
I need to start being more happy, at least that's what Selphie tells me. But she doesn't know, no one does. How pathetic I am. Sitting here, stressing my self out. What for? Why do I constantly ask myself the same questions? I don't like him........I never did.....I don't want to......I really don't. But it's unstoppable. Isn't that not true? Things seem to go by so quickly this pass week. Selphie's always up and about, working on the Garden Festival, with Zell. Rinoa and Squall finds things to do. Irvine and that girl he's been seeing, constantly doing things that I don't even wanna know about. And him....him. Seifer......I don't know much, so I'll just spare the time, and don't bring it up. I need to get out more.  
  
  
Irvine glanced at his clock, it was an early day, for him. Nearly 7:00. On the usual days, it would take him hours to get up. But he needed to do something. Say something. Just to get things off of his chest. It stressed him out more than anything. Why didn't she just understand, that it wouldn't work out. Not at this time anyways. Maybe it were because of the way Selphie continued pesturing him, each and everyday. Or maybe, Irvine was just sick and tired of the same girl. He needed a real woman, at least that's what he thought.  
Someone less cheesy and annoying. He didn't like Ayame, practically never did. And that's what he had to say. Tell her. He wouldn't have called it using the girl. After all, she was known as the slut of Balamb Garden. Who knows what else. But Irvine never bothered to bring that up. Instead, he kept it in, all this time. But today, was the last time, he'd let that happen. 


	2. Darkness

Irvine rushed out of the room, nearly knocking over a little girl. But quickly walked passed her and on to the Quad, where he had previously told Ayame to meet him. The girl, for one, didn't even know what the hell was going on.   
"HI, IRVY!" she exclaimed, pulling him down on her, causing much attention. Irvine backed away, gently pulling her hand away from him. She looked up at him, her blue eyes filled with curiosity and questions.  
"What's the matter?" Ayame asked, as she looked Irvine in his eyes.   
"Listen, umm, I think that we should see other people," he uttered, almost in a whisper. Irvine hated to be the one who decided first. Most of the time, he letted the girls break the news to him. But none ever lasted more than a week. And considering that Ayame was an exception, practically changed everything. His schedules were constantly to meet her somewhere, his life was a mess, and much of the time, all they did was have sex. Which for that reason, Irvine didn't mind much.  
Ayame looked at him hard, but her expression suddenly loosened up as a smile spreaded across her face.  
"OK, Sweety," she began, "If that's what you really want, then I guess I could take a break as much as you would like it also."   
Irvine smiled, "That's good to know that you understand me. Well....I guess I'll see ya 'round, literally," he said the last part, quietly, as he stammered away.  
  
  
Quistis looked down at her cup of coffee as she continued to spoon it. Rinoa had her arms rested below her chin, as she smiled at Quistis, noticing the childish features that were nearly hidden away.  
"Quistis," she began, "What's wrong with you today?"  
She immediately drew her attention to the polite young woman, "Nothing......just thinking, that's all." Rinoa slowly stood up and looked down at Quistis.  
"Well, hey, I need to meet Squall in the lobby, so see ya later, OK," she said, as she slowly made her way to the opening cafeteria door. As she exited, a tall handsome figure entered. Quistis knew right away, that before her stood Seifer. He looked as usual as he always had, but something was different. Changed somehow. She quickly looked away as she noticed him glancing at her. Then sauntered towards the table where she sat.  
He leaned over the table, his hands holding the weight of his body. For a moment, Seifer stood still, just staring into Quistis' eyes. Without even saying a word.  
"Seifer...," she uttered, looking back at him. As if on cue, he pulled at a chair and sat down, across from the petite blue-eyed girl.  
"You busy?" he questioned, his eyes adjusted on hers. She shook her head in reply. Before Seifer could let anything else escape from his mouth, Zell suddenly popped out of nowhere.  
"Hey, Quisty," he exclaimed, nearly out of breath. As he stood tall, holding onto two hot dogs, "Took me forever to get these."  
Seifer looked down, then slowly stood up, "I guess I'll go, talk to you some other time." Then he took off, Quistis turned her glance to Zell, who was now finished with one hot dog.  
He looked up at her, with sad eyes, "What? I didn't say anything."  
  
  
Quistis' Diary Entry 4  
  
Only two words......two meaningless words. Seifer...why was I so stupid. All I managed to say was 'Seifer'. When I wanted to say more, more than what I had in mind. I wanted to talk to him, just like I did Squall. Talk to him, make him talk to me. To conversate with him. Why when I find the right time to talk to Seifer, I can't hardly even get a word out??? Am I starting to like him or fall in love with him? Or have I already? Please don't let it be either one. I just can't handle the pressure. The pressure of being broken hearted, again.  
  
  
Irvine sat in the dark corner of his room, staring into nothing but total darkness. The night had decended, and all was still just like the night sky, that was filled with scattered stars. He slowly stood up from his sitting position and walked over to the door. Pulling it open. Irvine then noticed Selphie standing outside of Zell's door. Talking to whom had seem to be Zell.  
"Selphie," Zell uttered, "I'm too tired, and why the hell do you constantly bother me every fucken hour of every fucken day?!?"   
Selphie opened her mouth in aw, her hands on her tiny hips, as she slapped Zell across the face. He opened his eyes wide with surprise.  
"WHAT THE HELL, DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!?!?" he demanded, his hand on his swelled cheek, or so it felt like it. Selphie shook her head, her eyes tightly shut.  
"No swearing in the presence of a lady, didn't yo mom ever tell you that??" she questioned. He glared at her, as he quickly slammed the door hard in her face. Selphie turned away as she felt anger rise in the pit of her stomache, when she noticed Irvine having a pretty good time watching. From the look of his face. Selphie smiled to herself, as she thought about the many things that would hurt Irvine.   
  
  
"Morning, Quistis," Seifer uttered, as he flashed her a smile, appearing at the entrance of the library. He leaned against the door and smiled as a cute brunette walked passed. Quistis turned away and continued flipping through the fashion catalog. He walked over to her, slowly, and pulled out a chair, close beside the young woman.  
"Why the long face?" Seifer questioned, without eye-contact. Instead, he stared as two couples who stood at the front of the room. Quistis looked up at him, then back down. Feeling a bit relaxed from that night's rest.  
"What long face? I'm feeling quite well," she replied, one hand resting below her chin.  
Seifer smiled, as he slowly grabbed for her slender wrist. Quistis, a bit surprised, reacted to this by standing up.   
"What are you doing?" she questioned, a hard expression on her face. Seifer stood up and leaned close to her, almost to the point where their lips met.  
"Why are you so scared? I'm not gonna hurt you," was his reluctant reply, as he letted her go, and stepped back a few inches as he looked down at her.  
"Seifer," Quistis uttered, "You're so full of shit." She quickly made her way passed him but stopped as she heard him call out to her.  
"Shittey enough, to ask you out," Seifer replied, his facial expression getting hard. Quistis slowly turned around to face him. Questions, unasked questions flowing through her mind.  
"What?" she asked, gripping onto the magazine, tightly. And at that very moment, she felt herself fall.....fall into the place that she onced witness. Total Darkness.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
